Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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