i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
