that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Randomize
