This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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