Don't you send me to vm
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
