I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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