its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
