Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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