Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
