There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
