I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
