so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
