I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize