this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
