when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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