omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
