my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
