Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Randomize
