my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
