ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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