You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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