o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
