im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize