I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
