I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
