ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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