do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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