dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
