you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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