R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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