so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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