At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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