the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
