Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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