Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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