If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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