Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
