You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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