I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
