if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
