Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
