u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
