You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize