im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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