Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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