So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
