it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
