he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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