this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
