we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
