My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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