The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
