Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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