I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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