Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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