ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
