your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
