Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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