Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
