turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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