So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
