i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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