So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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