thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
