My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
