it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
