how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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