remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize