just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize