I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
