It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
