I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
