are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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