The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
