Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
