Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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