He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
