I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
