Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
